The Awakening

 anxiety, doubtfulness

suddenly i felt it in my heart today.

actually it has been almost, the whole of my life

that i felt that way. 

since i knew the reality of life.

yet, it grew stronger today 

to the extent that i couldn't bear it anymore.

i want to talk to someone

that maybe, that someone could understand

 and can ease this unlikeable feeling.

but all of the sudden i feel that i can't trust anyone.

and people might not understand how my feeling is.

yes, it true actually.

nobody understand yourself except for you.

frankly speaking, i am a mere follower of God.

"mere follower" here means that i am only an average follower.

neither blind nor ignorant follower.

back to main point, today.

i felt an indescribable feeling, again.

and i said to myself,

"nobody would understand me"

but all of the sudden, i was startled. 

not because someone shocked me or what so ever.

because i actually have the One.

and i nearly forget that. 

people always want to upgrade their thingy, 

like upgrade the software, antivirus, or a car.

thus, i want to upgrade also.

not a thing, but myself.

from an average follower,

to a better follower of Him.

He has help me so much, 

He always there for me,

He never humiliate me like human does, 

nor never let me down.

so, i talk to Him and read his advices

i could feel the calmness and serenity flow

like water, through my left chest.

the emptiness is filled.

and i will continue doing that till the end of my life,

InshaAllah. May Allah give me strength.

Thank you Allah, for the mercy.

 auch_down