Set Adrift on Holiday Bliss

yeah right.

that is not true.

no such feeling of holiday bliss or whatnot

it is Holiday pain.

being unusually productive this mid break

is somehow regarded as something weird 

for me. 

usually when entering 'holiday mode'

i tend to forget that

i have lotsa assignments to attend to.

and freak out when holiday is about to end.

totally embracing holiday. 

however, not this time.

maybe this is what i called "fourth year syndrome"

or maybe because i already make "to-do-list" and 

put it on my study table in which i always look upon everyday.

its either one. 

i am lucky that my parent don't have any holiday plans

in which i am totally sure that i will be left out.

well, i am the one who choose to be left out

and pretend that assignments is something that is enjoyable.

weirdo.

i have no choice though.

"bersusah-susah dahulu, senang lenang kemudian"

i'll stick on that.

although happiness is getting further away,

but it will return someday.

i believe. 

i do.

The End Of The Topic.

Note

it is not solely my fault that i couldn't write regularly

usually its other stuff that bother.

 in denial.

a bit awkward for it has been a while

and i find myself struggle for a bit to find perfect words.

what could i say more.

just busy-ness that never ends.

don't take that as a whine.

it just a mere mention.

the end is around the corner.

i mean this year i am graduating.

and i foresee my plan after that.

its good to have long term plans.

 it is a "plan" after all.

which means it can change.

it can be mended as well. 

because i believe that 

the Most Gracious is the Best Planner above all.

i am evolving, i guess.

like for instance,

 i usually don't take English materials as

leisure reading of mine and it always for academic purposes.

yet, now i enjoy reading English. 

this is like 5 years back.

what a memoir. 

it has been that long, i haven't realised.

everybody are on "graduating" mode as far as i can see.

the aura is a bit different.

i can feel the seriousness,

level of maturity is toned high.

commitment.

 everybody seems to spend lots more time, more than usual.

some of them were distancing away.

and after this i will have to say the second goodbye.

the first was after high school.

the former is hard, but the latter is harder.

the fact that we will have to face the reality world after this

sometimes make me bewildering. 

i dunno if we can meet as regular as before.

just a mere heartfelt emotion that creeping from deep inside.

The End Of The Topic.

Foreshadow

The world today that I am seeing

Got me ruminating

On the values of human being.

Would it going,

To be in peace or is it disappearing?

Will it be the fresh air in the morning,

Or poison that we breathing?

Is trust bear any meaning,

When every single body is corrupting?

Where will the love be loitering,

In the middle or in abandoning?

Worrying,

Sympathizing,

For the future being.

Mind is bewildering.

Just wishing,

This is mere nightmare dreaming.

060313
1045




The End Of The Topic.