Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Sahabat




dulu aku prejudis 
tentang nilai persahabatan
prejudisnya aku hingga sampai satu tahap
aku menganggap sahabat itu menyusahkan
dan aku tidak percaya akan kata-kata azimat itu
"sahabat selamanya"
"best friend forever"

jangan salahkan diri aku 
yang berfikiran semacam itu.
masakan tidak aku jadi prejudis,
sahabat yang pernah aku sanjungi dulu
satu persatu meninggalkan aku
sahabat yang dahulunya pernah sama-sama
berimpian untuk berkawan sehingga mati,
rupanya hanya melakar janji yang langsung tak bererti.
sahabat yang suatu ketika dulu berkongsi gelak dan tawa
makan, minum bersama, 
sama-sama mengejar cita-cita,
rupanya sahabat sementara. 
datang bila rasa perlu
dan bila kepentingan itu hilang, aku ditinggalkan.
itukah maksud sebenar erti sahabat?

sejak dari ketika itu, 
aku tidak lagi mahu bersahabat selamanya.
aku juga menjadi seperti mereka,
menjadi sahabat mee segera.


........

akhirnya Tuhan tunjukkan aku sesuatu.
tidak semua manusia seperti itu.
aku bertemu dengan sahabat yang salah
untuk dipertemukan dengan sahabat yang sejati.

berjumpanya aku dengan mereka bukanlah dirancang.
ia merupakan satu pertemuan yang direncana Tuhan.
sedikit demi sedikit rasa prejudis itu terhakis,
dibasuh dengan keikhlasan sahabat duniawi dan ukhrawi.

dan kini aku optimis
tentang nilai sebenar persahabatan.
jika bersahabat demi wang,
bila habis wang, habislah persahabatan.
jika bersahabat demi harta benda,
bila jatuh miskin kau akan ditinggalkan.
jika bersahabat demi darjat,
bila darjat tiada lagi, kawan akan pura-pura tidak lagi mengenali diri.
dan,
jika bersahabat demi Tuhan, 
maka Tuhan akan memberkati ukhuwah itu.

jadi ikhlaskan hati dalam persahabatan
demi Tuhan.




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Kembali



 ada kecelaruan yang melanda jiwa 
semenjak dua menjak ini.
oleh kerana rasa untuk menanggung itu sudah rapuh
lalu keputusan membawa diri di ambil
tanpa berfikir untuk jangka masa yang panjang.

hadirnya Dia dalam hidup sudah lama.
cuma jarang sekali diberi perhatian.
alangkah hinanya diri ini yang melupakanNya
sedangkan Dia tidak pernah melupakan hambaNya.

berbekalkan kekuatan yang Dia beri
aku mahu kembali.
bertemankan nasihat rakan-rakan yang disayangi
aku mahu kembali.

Terima kasih Tuhan atas Rahmat yang Kau beri.
tidak akan disia-siakan peluang entah ke berapa kali
Kawan-kawan yang selalu ada di sisi, aku hargai.
tanpa kalian entah apa yang akan berlaku pada diri ini.

dengan semangat yang baru, 
aku kembali.





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Monday, January 30, 2012

Away



 pergi.
bawa.
diri.




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Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Awakening




 anxiety, doubtfulness
suddenly i felt it in my heart today.
actually it has been almost, the whole of my life
that i felt that way. 
since i knew the reality of life.
yet, it grew stronger today 
to the extent that i couldn't bear it anymore.

i want to talk to someone
that maybe, that someone could understand
 and can ease this unlikeable feeling.
but all of the sudden i feel that i can't trust anyone.
and people might not understand how my feeling is.
yes, it true actually.
nobody understand yourself except for you.

frankly speaking, i am a mere follower of God.
"mere follower" here means that i am only an average follower.
neither blind nor ignorant follower.

back to main point, today.
i felt an indescribable feeling, again.
and i said to myself,
"nobody would understand me"
but all of the sudden, i was startled. 
not because someone shocked me or what so ever.
because i actually have the One.
and i nearly forget that. 

people always want to upgrade their thingy, 
like upgrade the software, antivirus, or a car.
thus, i want to upgrade also.
not a thing, but myself.
from an average follower,
to a better follower of Him.
He has help me so much, 
He always there for me,
He never humiliate me like human does, 
nor never let me down.

so, i talk to Him and read his advices
i could feel the calmness and serenity flow
like water, through my left chest.
the emptiness is filled.
and i will continue doing that till the end of my life,
InshaAllah. May Allah give me strength.

Thank you Allah, for the mercy.



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Friday, January 20, 2012

Happy & Happy






i know its has been a while since my last post.
sorry for not be enthusiast enough in writing
not because the interest has decreased but 
i have been busy for past few weeks due to
study and final examination.
the weather is bit chilly and windy while i am typing
because its raining.
i am glad,
since it has been hot and sunny for past few days.

okay, not to worry much about the weather.
i am happy and happy now.
the former happy is for Happy Holiday.
yeah, the semester has ended like last week
and i am in vacation period now.
so i will have so much time to write more here.
yet, it is only three weeks vacation. 
even though it is short, seriously,
but i am glad since i need vacation very badly.
last semester was the hardest - ever.
with lots of workload, exhibition, staging, 
research paper.
tell me which part that doesn't make me craving for holiday.
let the gone, okay.
enjoying the holiday to the fullest is my mission now.

the latter happy is for Happy Birthday.
yesterday was my birthday.
so i am 22 years old now and
i am going to be unstoppable and 
nothing can hold me back..
just kidding.
but serious talking here, this birthday was 
the most ordinary one.
true, its like mere day, nothing special 
except for the birthday wishes from my friends.
maybe because it falls on weekdays.
but me bother not. 
since i've becoming a young lady now,
so it doesn't really bother me 
if people celebrate my birthday or not.
just mere wishes already make me joyful.
its thought that count.

anyway, thank you guys for the wishes.
be happy, always.



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Thursday, January 5, 2012

For You..


 Dear Miss Fathi,


i read it.
i see it.
and i think i must say something.
as a good friend.

being in relationship does not means you got everything
and not being in relationship does not mean you got nothing.

sometimes i do wish to be single again.
because being in relationship is sometimes tiresome and burdensome.
to take care of other people heart while yours is hurting,
is exactly not cool.

being single means He protected you.
He has reserved someone better for you.

don't, please don't blame yourself.
stop blaming yourself for 
something that you did not do.
stop adding insult to your injury.
what is wrong to have expectation?
what is wrong to daydream?
what's wrong to entertain your tiny heart 
with something silly, sometimes?
it is YOUR LIFE.
don't let other people jeopardize your life.
be positive.
why people make silly mistakes? 
why people make wrong decision?
it is to learn.
people aren't perfect,
and i know you know that fact very well.

yes, you have to be patient.
someone is waiting for you.
maybe not now.
but tomorrow, who knows?
He knows better.
keep clinging on Him.

and 

don't try to change yourself just because other people told you so.
ask that people "are you perfect enough though, to change me?"
change because you feel you need to change.

and you know what, a good friend listens.
 when mankind doesn't want to listen, turn to Him.
He listens, share your pain with Him.
He'll never let you down like mankind did.
selfish is mankind middle name.
turn to the Most Gracious Listener.

what's with this, the inferior-complex of yours?
people are special in their own ways.
you are special.
don't let people look down on you.
tell them that you are as good, or much better.
stop admire people so much,
just because they did something extraordinary,
it does not makes you ordinary. 
you are much better than that person you admire.

i can't tell more
since i am also a weak human being
who used to be a loser and pathetic
because i think about other people too much
not myself.
i changed for me myself, not other people. 
i am an ordinary, imperfect creature. 
i learnt from my mistakes.
i turned to Him when mankind let me down.
this is my sincere notes for you,
as a friend.



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Sunday, January 1, 2012

Its a New Year





 another year has gone
another year has come
Goodbye the most memorable year 2011
welcome 2012

i do not have special resolution for 2012
and i also decided not to have special resolution anymore
because i want to learn something from the year that i've been through
and improve that way.
rather than making up so many resolutions that 
you can't even fulfill
be realistic.
like 2011, i learn so many things
and gain so many experience
that teach me to be a better person


let go of the past



start anew


“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. 
Every story has an end, but in life every end is just a new beginning.”

be and create a better personality




my mere hoping that this year will be much more better 
than the before.


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